Thoughts

Many thoughts as of recent. I'm single again, not overly disappointed about it. My thoughts tonight are about friendship. I have many friends whom I am now starting to appreciate. It's taken me awhile. In coming to this conclusion I feel loved but confused.
Why do people like me so much? People, there's really not that much to like. I talk too much, and I stick my nose where it shouldn't be and I make inappropriate comments on the bus. Loudly. I'm really not that good of a person and I shouldn't be liked by anyone.

More realistic

So I realize that my last post was very cheesy. I am more realistic now, and things are going well. I am no longer hitting the highs and lows as I was last month. Some things have happened that have helped out alot, but I'm stable again. I'm almost looking forward to going home for Christmas and I am definantly looking forward to going to Florida. If for the shopping alone...

Jen

The 10 best things...

The top 10 best things I am thankful for in life:
10. Food and not having a shortage of it
9. Education- as much as I complain I'm thankful for it
8. Travel- the oppertunities I've had to visit the places I've been
7. Movies- that allow me to step away from myself and into a new world
6. Nature- being able to walk and enjoy
5. Technology- and my ability to use it to keep in touch and get work done
4. My Fish- I love the little guy!
3. Music- allowing me to express myself through playing and listening.
2. My Family- who is wonderful and allows me to do everything I can
and most important,
1. My Friends- who are always there for me and constantly remind me that they care, for that I am eternally grateful

Jen

Don't Know

I don't know what's wrong with me. I haven't been in the best of moods lately, and part of it is I don't know what's wrong. For the first time in my life, I do not understand. Whatever it is, things are getting better, and I am slowly bringing myself back up. However, it doesn't help when people start saying mean things about me to me, cutting up every part of my life, and telling me how I should live my life. That just hurts. Deeply.

Stats is also killing me. I am so scared for the exam, I have to start studying for it soon. I have to try and figure out what's going on, and I have to reteach myself because my prof can't.

I'm sure things will pick up soon. At least, I hope so.

Jen

Content

I don't want to go home for thanksgiving. I don't know why I don't, I"m just not feeling the urge to go home like I have in the past. I'm not dreading it, I know it will be a fun and well deserved break, and a chance to get some real food in me (not that I don't eat well here), I guess I feel I have no reason to go home. I'm even going to start packing now to see if that will make me happier about the whole situation. The one exciting thing is that Jessica is coming with me. That will be fun, especially since I have passes from working in the summer, and she hasn't seen the Falls in quite awhile.

The reality of fourth year is finally starting to hit me. With the amount of work I've been doing it should have hit me alot sooner, but it's only started to now. When I walk around campus, and remember walking around it for the past three years, noticing how it's changed and remembering walks and moments that have happened with people, I realize how far I've come. It's bittersweet, I'm happy that I've made it to where I am now, but sad that it will be over soon.

Meghan's birthdayt weekend was a blast. I ate way too much spread out over the weekend, but it was worth it. Fun times at the Loop, absolutley hilarious to see Luke dancing. I quite enjoyed that.

My days are filled with classes and homework, and my evenings are filled with spending quality time with people, and keeping in touch with everyone. I feel that I am exactly where I should be, and I am content, for the first time in awhile.

Now if I could only get back on my diet...

Jen

Thoughts of the day

This week has been a good week. Sarah was up on the weekend, and I really enjoyed spending time with her again. I went to Pie last night with Meghan, and we went for a walk on Monday, so I've gotten to see her too. My school work has finally calmed down enough so I'm not constantly worrying about my work, but rather, devoting the necessary time to it and doing a much better job.

I've been thinking alot about the future lately. I have a feeling most people in my year are as well, as come April, we won't have the same returning to school cushion that we've been able to use for the past 4 years. After Europe I have to move home. I am not looking forward to that, but it's the only way I can earn enough money. The good news is that I will only be living at home for a short period of time, and then I will most likely be moving back to Windsor for school (Montessori training).

This weekend is Meghan's birthday weekend. Saturday will be an absolute blast, as we're going for dinner, and then going out to the Loop. After her pre-birthday celebration last weekend, I cannot wait to see what this one brings! The tiara is a nice touch. I am sooo bringing my camera, need those pictures for the grad slideshow!

Next weekend is thanksgiving. I actually don't think I want to be going home. I mean I don't care, but for the first time in three years, I'm actually not feeling a huge push to go home. There's no good reason for me to stay here, so I"ll go. It will be fun. Jess will come with me, so we can go and use my passes on Clifton Hill. It will be nice to see the work girls again.

Happenings

I have far too much time to think. One would think this is near impossible given the amount of work I have to do, but somehow my thoughts sneak up on me. It's good, and it's allowing for growth of me.

This weekend promises to be fun. Sarah is coming up on Saturday with Stefan, staying overnight, dropping him off at the airport on Sunday, and then staying with me Sunday night. It will be great for the three musketeers to be back together, even if just for a short time.

Another odd thing for myself is that I haven't been watching tv. I can't seem to sit down for more than 10 minutes to watch tv, with the exception of today. That's only because the Wonder Years were on, and I was there. It was a good episode too.

If anyone wants to comment, please feel free to.

Jen

Good Things, Great Things

It is difficult for me to write a blog entry without sounding sappy. So if it goes there, I apologize. But I am lucky to be where I am today. I am thankful for the oppertunities that have arisen in my life, and I am happy with the choices I have made.

I could play the what if game for hours. But any way it ends up, I am very happy with the choices I made. I know this because I never wonder what it would be like if I chose somewhere else. Before I left for school, I always used to wonder what it would be like to move to a different city. Now, I never wonder and I've been here for four years.

In Windsor, I have the best friends in the world. I have lots of interesting people around that always allow me to have great conversation, and show me how I can use myself to my fullest potential.

When I go for a walk, I always see something different among the landscape. Some of it is falling apart, but alot of it is beautiful old housing, housing and buildings I've seen only in Toronto, and many of these buildings even predate those. The riverfront is beautiful to walk along, and it's always fun to go out and see the interesting characters walking around downtown.

I am actually not minding having a car in Windsor. When I have access to a car at home, I drive everywhere. Here I walk, I walk for an hour at a time, and I don't notice it. It's better for my health, it keeps my energy level up, and helps me keep all the weight I lost off.

I'm already dreading having to leave in the spring, and I haven't been to all my classes yet.

Jen

The First Weekend of School....

So I am actually making another post as per my promise to keep my blog updated. It has been move in weekend around here, a chance to meet the new housemates and the new exchange students. Everyone seems great, and easy to get along with, which pleases me. Last night was the first real oppertunity to meet some of the exchange students, as we all went out to a bar and then out dancing.

I love the social aspects of where I live. I love spending time with other students, or more specifically peers, which I can't do at home. I love it now that everyone's moved in, and there's people around to talk to.

Meghan came out with us last night, and is now officially an honourary Canterbury student, which is great. And I now have incriminating pictures of even more people.

Jen

This last week

I have decided that I don't blog enough, and that I should try to blog more often. Usually when I do blog they're just philsophical quips from deep inside my mind, so this will be a summary of my week, as well as my comments.

I moved back to Windsor a week early this year. I chose to do this for many reasons. It was easier on my parents, it was easier for me to get settled in, room unpacked and everything set up. I needed time off, time to myself to rest and regroup. I knew that I could not get this in Welland, especially working 40+ hours a week. If I left work early, but stayed at home, I would feel guilty for not working that extra time. It turned out to be a great decision. I got the advantage of a quiet house, tv time on the couch, and getting to hang out with people that I would never have met otherwise. My room is spotless and completely unpacked, I am all settled in, Meghan was here last weekend, and I also get to see Sarah while she comes to pick up her boyfriend. This kicks ass, I'm happy I get to see her, and I got to just chill with them, both of them at the same time. We shopped, we chatted, we ate, we saw Beerfest which was wonderful, and we got to be ourselves. I am thankful for moments like that, where I can be myself and still be loved.

I made lunch for them, which I am proud of, because I had everything ready last night, and I made enough food to feed a small army. It worked out well, and I have plenty of leftovers for this week.

I took myself shopping and decorated my room, which looks great. The best it's looked in three years! I think I am finally growing up, and gaining the maturity that I need. I'm happy with where I am, and happy with where I'm going.

Here's to the nights I feel alive and the next year!

Jen